Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
