Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
