Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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