I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
