it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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