At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
