Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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