You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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