hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
