I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
