In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
