If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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