This girl is more easily done than said...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
