A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
