Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
