just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
