So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
