Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
