thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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