Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
