Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
