u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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