Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
