Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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