This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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