im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
