Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
