you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
