my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
