I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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