haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
