Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
