if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
