There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
