oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
