I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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