Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
