i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
