Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
