Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
