I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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