I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Come see our sink grown plant.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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