I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
