My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
