she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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