I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
