We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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