Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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