there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
