Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
whose parrot is this?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
