We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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