Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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