Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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